I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
