Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
