Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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