My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
