I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
