The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
