Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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