my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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