shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
