they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
