using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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