hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
