my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
