Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
