if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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