I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
this is an emotional support booty call
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
