I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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