My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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