I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dear god my vagina.
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