I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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