It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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