Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize