is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
