I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
