just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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