I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
