He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
