Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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