i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
