He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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