I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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