he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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