Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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