Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
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She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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