Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
