She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
