she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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