What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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