my sisters under your porch take her home
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
