It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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