I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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