If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
