Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
50% drunk capacity currently
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize