In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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