My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
