Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I need moral support for this bender
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize
