But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
