It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
