we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
