You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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