Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
