Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
