Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
