This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
