my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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