That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize