Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
