A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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