So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
