no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
