I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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