Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
