I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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