What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
